A Documentary About Professional Air Hockey. Really.

Sep19

Danny Hynes ist achtfacher Weltmeister!

I’m pretty sure this means “Danny Hynes is an eight-time world champion,” if my remedial high school German serves correctly. The Germans do compound nouns as well as the Japanese do compound verbs — that is to say, brilliantly —  and WELTMEISTER sounds pretty freakin’ great for a title if you ask me.

Yes, fearsome 8-time champ Danny Hynes was featured recently in an Austrian sports glossy called, well, SPORT. Probably one of the most brilliant defenders of the modern era, Hynes also has a varied attack that combines brutal straights and unders with delicate off-speeds.

He also has superb Hand-augen-Koordination!!!!

Babelfish does a decent job decoding this article; any German-speakers out there to help with the subtle bits?

Click on the images below for a full-sized scan of each page!

This is Argentine futbol star Lionel Messi, not Danny Hynes. But the title by his elbow says "Hockey-Ladys Rock Stars" which sounds promising!

This is Argentine futbol star Lionel Messi, not Danny Hynes. But the title by his elbow says “Hockey-Ladys Rock Stars” which sounds promising!

Hynes licks his chops as he slaughters another victim...

Hynes licks his chops as he slaughters another victim…

Two images downloaded from Hynes' optic nerve (a bin of random mallets and a table being scrubbed of blood and sweat (well, sweat…)

Two images downloaded from Hynes’ optic nerve (a bin of random mallets and a table being scrubbed of blood and sweat (well, sweat…)

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